I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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