Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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