Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize