you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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