New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize