It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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