haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
