We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
