so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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