Whod you bang
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
