Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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