don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Randomize
