bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
