Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
