dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
