Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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