Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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