Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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