Got a toothbrush?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
