just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
