At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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