i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
