apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
