I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
