I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
