I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
