yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
