ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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