Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
