Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
