Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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