The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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