She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You made out with two different species that night
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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