i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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