let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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