woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
