I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
