I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
