I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
