I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
