walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
