Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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