We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so that wasnt chicken after all
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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