I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
This couple is walking their pig around campus
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize