Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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