her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
