why didn't you poke me back
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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