She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I can't turn off my feet"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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