You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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