Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
