Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
