it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
