Yo dont text me then not text me
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
