New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
