i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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